Hey there! Hope you had a lovely Christmas (assuming that's what you celebrate), and are excited to ring in the New Year. 2010! I've been alive for almost 2 decades now. Sheesh! Remember when we were supposed to be floating around on hover boards by now? I guess no one predicted that big drop in the economy. I'm sure if we were financially stable enough, we'd be rocking those shiny metal shoots, and cool Star Trek style sunglasses while riding around in hover-convertables. Okay.... maybe not... but still! How cool would that be?!
Well anyways... as most of my life consists of spending way too much time surfing YouTube (there is just so much cool stuff on there!), I came across a few videos in which people wrote breakup letters to 2009. I thought that was a cute idea, and considering I'm just so gosh darn cute myself, I decided to do that on here as a nice New Years themed blog entry. Keep in mind I have only broken up with one person. My 8th grade boyfriend. I know, it was pretty serious and we were TOTALLY in love, but overall I have very limited experience breaking up with anyone, let alone a year. But none the less, here you go:
Dear 2009,
I'm not quite sure how to say this... so I guess I'm just going to come out and say it. There is someone else. Now I know that's not right, but we went in to this knowing it would probably end eventually. You knew how much 2008 meant to me, and we just started off so rough... I think it's fair to admit we both kind of saw this coming. That's not to say you weren't great while you lasted though! I mean... we have some great memories. Becoming a state officer, training at NLCSO in New York, graduating from high school and starting college... and the people I've met! I mean I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met some of the people you brought me. But still... it was rocky. And I'll admit, I could have tried harder, I could have done things better, but maybe this is what I need in order to grow. Maybe in order to be a better person I just have to put the past behind me and move on. You were there for me at some really rough times. I went through some really sad patches, and you never turned your back on me. It meant a lot to me. But you're my past, 2009, and 2010 is my future. I have the chance to bring my GPA up, because you and I both know I could have done much better this past semester. I have to chance to run for State Officer again, and actually be a line officer this time because I can now get my State Degree. And who knows who I will meet! Perhaps the love of my life. Maybe the best friend I will ever have. Who knows where 2010 will bring me? Where ever we go though, I know I need to go. So thank you, 2009 for all the good times I will remember, the the bad times that I will learn from. It's not you, it's me. I just need to move on.
Friends?,
Amanda
I suggest trying this to anyone who reads it. It's fun, and it's a nice way to get some closure before starting the New Year.
So this past year, my New Year's Resolution was every day, find a reason that the day was awesome. And I have to admit I thoroughly enjoyed doing that! It really made me a much happier person and I realized how many ways I am blessed. At the end of every day I felt so grateful because I was focussing on the things I had, not the things I wanted. So I plan on continuing that.
This year my New Year's Resolution will be to write a list of 100 things I want to do before I die, and start working to accomplish things on my list.
I hope you have a safe and happy New Year surrounded by people you love.
Until next we meet,
Respectfully,
me
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Yikes
I know, I know. Its been a while. Let me skip right to my excuses:
Finals week at college is VERY difficult.
Coming home, I would much rather rest than blog.
No one even comments this thing. Anyone reading?!
One word; CHRISTMAS!
My dog ate my blog... oh... wait a minute...
Okay so maybe the last ones not so true, but everything else is! Finals week needed my undivided attention, I wanted to spend time with friends and family when I got home, its hard to be motivated to write when you are not sure if anyone is actually reading, and hellooooo Santa! He needed his cookies of course.
Now I have a typical theme style blog coming up in just another paragraph, but just to quickly catch everyone up: Finals went well. My family and friends are all looking lovely, especially my cousins that I only see once a year who are getting way too old for my liking (my cousin Christophers voice changed! How scary is that?!). Oh, and Saint Nick was very kind to me this year. All in all, I am feeling cheerful. And to be completely honest, that was not necessarily the case these past few weeks and I did not want to be a Debbie Downer and blog when I was feeling less than chipper. But all this Christmas spirit has brought me back, so here we go!
So for any of you who DO read this, I was just thinking... I have not properly introduced myself. Please excuse my momentary rudeness, and allow me to introduce myself! My name is Amanda and I a fun-loving, energetic 19-year-young kid who still believes in Christmas miracles. That one sentence alone says a lot about me, but let me break it down a little more for you.
I have lived in Massachusetts my entire life, and really love this place. I have never lived more than 20 minutes away from Boston, but I can not honestly say I like to visit the city that often. Aside from the occasional Bruins game of course. Oh, did I mention I am OBSESSED with hockey and the Bruins monopolize my life during the hockey season? Thats a key point to know about me. I am smack dab in the middle of two brothers. One two years older, one two years younger. Growing up we played in our small back yard a lot, most of the time digging holes with my brothers Tonka Trucks. I played a lot of sports, but mainly soccer. Eventually though, soccer killed my back. I still have developing scoliosis, and I was told my freshman year of high school I had to quit if I wanted to be able to teach my kids how to play someday. So I did just that, and now I stay active by running, and occasionally hiking when I find the time. Speaking of freshman year... I chose an alternative style of education when it came to my high school experience. I was not doing well in my towns public school system, and decided to attend Essex Agricultural and Technical High School where I majored in Natural Resources and Parks Management, joined the Cross Country Team, became a class representative, a Peer Leader, the school mascot, an FFA Officer, and managed to graduate 6th in my class. I now attend the Stockbridge School of Agriculture at the University of Massachusetts Amherst where I major in Horticulture. I am not entirely sure just yet what I want to do with my life, but as of right now my two top choices are agriculture education, or agriculture communications. All I know for sure is that I want to influence people. And boy is that a word I hear a lot! Influence. Remember a few sentances ago I mentioned I joined the FFA in high school? Well I am now serving as a State Officer of the Massachusetts Association, and I could not be more thrilled. I get to spend my time out of school visiting chapters, meeting members, attending conferences, holding leadership building conferences for our chapter members, and hopefully above all inspiring new students to love agriculture and persue it passionately while gaining beneficial leadership skills along the way. Now if you remember, I mentioned I was born and raised in Massachusetts. So was my mom and dad, and their mom and dads, and so on and so on as far back as my family has been in America. So how did a little Massachusetts girl become a Future Farmer of America? Well... sometimes you just have to be in the right place at the right time, and someone or something will inspire your true passion. Becky Sullivan was the someone, State Convention was the something, and my true passion is agriculture and FFA! Now how many Massachusetts kid have cowboy boots and rodeo style belt buckles? Well I do, and I am proud! Besides those are far as my wardrobe goes, if I am out of my official FFA black skirt, black tights, black heels, white shirt, scarf, suspenders, and that infamous blue jacket... then you will probably find me wearing one of my two pairs of boat shoes, skinny jeans that are cuffed at the bottom because I am too short to find pants that fit just right, and a V-neck cardigan sweater with a button up collared shirt or a t-shirt underneath depending on how comfortable or how fancy I feel like being. Sometimes though, its just a plain old t-shirt (my personal favorite is my Nothing Tips Like a Cow t-shirt I got in the Indianapolis Airport) or UMASS or FFA sweatshirt. Comfort is my main goal.
I am pretty sure I have talked about myself just as much as anyone can. If you would like more of an introduction or an explanation to any of this, feel free to let me know. But for now...
Until next we meet,
Respectfully,
me
Finals week at college is VERY difficult.
Coming home, I would much rather rest than blog.
No one even comments this thing. Anyone reading?!
One word; CHRISTMAS!
My dog ate my blog... oh... wait a minute...
Okay so maybe the last ones not so true, but everything else is! Finals week needed my undivided attention, I wanted to spend time with friends and family when I got home, its hard to be motivated to write when you are not sure if anyone is actually reading, and hellooooo Santa! He needed his cookies of course.
Now I have a typical theme style blog coming up in just another paragraph, but just to quickly catch everyone up: Finals went well. My family and friends are all looking lovely, especially my cousins that I only see once a year who are getting way too old for my liking (my cousin Christophers voice changed! How scary is that?!). Oh, and Saint Nick was very kind to me this year. All in all, I am feeling cheerful. And to be completely honest, that was not necessarily the case these past few weeks and I did not want to be a Debbie Downer and blog when I was feeling less than chipper. But all this Christmas spirit has brought me back, so here we go!
So for any of you who DO read this, I was just thinking... I have not properly introduced myself. Please excuse my momentary rudeness, and allow me to introduce myself! My name is Amanda and I a fun-loving, energetic 19-year-young kid who still believes in Christmas miracles. That one sentence alone says a lot about me, but let me break it down a little more for you.
I have lived in Massachusetts my entire life, and really love this place. I have never lived more than 20 minutes away from Boston, but I can not honestly say I like to visit the city that often. Aside from the occasional Bruins game of course. Oh, did I mention I am OBSESSED with hockey and the Bruins monopolize my life during the hockey season? Thats a key point to know about me. I am smack dab in the middle of two brothers. One two years older, one two years younger. Growing up we played in our small back yard a lot, most of the time digging holes with my brothers Tonka Trucks. I played a lot of sports, but mainly soccer. Eventually though, soccer killed my back. I still have developing scoliosis, and I was told my freshman year of high school I had to quit if I wanted to be able to teach my kids how to play someday. So I did just that, and now I stay active by running, and occasionally hiking when I find the time. Speaking of freshman year... I chose an alternative style of education when it came to my high school experience. I was not doing well in my towns public school system, and decided to attend Essex Agricultural and Technical High School where I majored in Natural Resources and Parks Management, joined the Cross Country Team, became a class representative, a Peer Leader, the school mascot, an FFA Officer, and managed to graduate 6th in my class. I now attend the Stockbridge School of Agriculture at the University of Massachusetts Amherst where I major in Horticulture. I am not entirely sure just yet what I want to do with my life, but as of right now my two top choices are agriculture education, or agriculture communications. All I know for sure is that I want to influence people. And boy is that a word I hear a lot! Influence. Remember a few sentances ago I mentioned I joined the FFA in high school? Well I am now serving as a State Officer of the Massachusetts Association, and I could not be more thrilled. I get to spend my time out of school visiting chapters, meeting members, attending conferences, holding leadership building conferences for our chapter members, and hopefully above all inspiring new students to love agriculture and persue it passionately while gaining beneficial leadership skills along the way. Now if you remember, I mentioned I was born and raised in Massachusetts. So was my mom and dad, and their mom and dads, and so on and so on as far back as my family has been in America. So how did a little Massachusetts girl become a Future Farmer of America? Well... sometimes you just have to be in the right place at the right time, and someone or something will inspire your true passion. Becky Sullivan was the someone, State Convention was the something, and my true passion is agriculture and FFA! Now how many Massachusetts kid have cowboy boots and rodeo style belt buckles? Well I do, and I am proud! Besides those are far as my wardrobe goes, if I am out of my official FFA black skirt, black tights, black heels, white shirt, scarf, suspenders, and that infamous blue jacket... then you will probably find me wearing one of my two pairs of boat shoes, skinny jeans that are cuffed at the bottom because I am too short to find pants that fit just right, and a V-neck cardigan sweater with a button up collared shirt or a t-shirt underneath depending on how comfortable or how fancy I feel like being. Sometimes though, its just a plain old t-shirt (my personal favorite is my Nothing Tips Like a Cow t-shirt I got in the Indianapolis Airport) or UMASS or FFA sweatshirt. Comfort is my main goal.
I am pretty sure I have talked about myself just as much as anyone can. If you would like more of an introduction or an explanation to any of this, feel free to let me know. But for now...
Until next we meet,
Respectfully,
me
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Snow!
Gooooood afternoon, lovely reader. As we speak, I am sitting in my dorm room trying to warm up because I just finished constructing one of the cutest little snowmen I think you will ever have the pleasure of seeing. I even went through the effort of inserting a picture of him! Now, tell me he isn't adorable.Let me back track though. Last night I went to bed very excited at the prospect of our first real snow of the winter. I can't say I had any dreams about sugar plums or anything like that... but I promise I was happy when I woke up to a fresh white blanket of snow on the ground! For those of you unfamiliar with the landscape of UMass Amherst, I live up on a place called Orchard Hill. It's exactly what it sounds like. A big hill! And I mean BIG! And even though I live up here, I was not even slightly annoyed at the idea of going up and down all day for classes and to eat. I was way too thrilled for all this beautiful snow!
So I sat through my first two classes this morning feeling too excited to be sitting inside. I kept gazing out the windows, admiring the beautiful trees covered in the snow which just makes the world look even more lovely. After my Botany class, my friend Samantha and I went right to work finding materials to make our snowman. We decided to go small, and built a little guy right on a picnic table in the middle of our residential area. All four buildings can look down on him and smile, which hopefully everyone does!
What makes me happy is that I can see him from my dorm room window. I can look down at any moment and see people passing by, stopping, and admiring our hard work. No one has knocked him over yet. No one has done anything to disrespect him at all. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to know that even though we're adults and in college now, we can still experience the simple joys such as making a snow man with a friend. I hope I never outgrow that. I hope I never get so old that a snow ball fight seams immature, or hot chocolate and a Christmas movie seam boring, or snow is just the hassle we have to get through in order to accomplish our responsibilities. Sure, it is taking me a little longer to get where I need to be. But that doesn't mean I won't stop and take a little time to build a snow man, or throw a snow ball at a friend I'm walking to class with. This time of year is wonderful. The spirit and joy in the air. The way world looks different and calm. I don't care how busy your schedule is today, take a moment to enjoy nature's beauty. I think snow is just God's way of telling us we're moving too fast, and we need to slow down and notice everything around us. So that's what I plan on doing today.
Until next time
Respectfully,
me
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Home for the Holidays
Hello, reader. I want to warn you right off the bat, this blog may seam a little sad. Keep reading all the way though, and I promise it will turn out good! With that said, on to the blogging!
So for plenty of reasons, the past week wasn't the best for me. Going home from college is a bitter-sweet experience in my opinion. It's nice to see my family and friends that I love. We get to catch up with each other and go to all the hang outs and do everything we did before we all went off to college.
At the same time, there are things back home I was trying to get away from. Bad memories, things I've moved on from... things that make me a little anxious about when I am back home.
I got to do a lot of thinking while I was home, especially on this topic. I spent a very long time last night on the phone with an amazing friend (even more amazing for answering my phone call at 1:30 am and listening to me cry until 3 am. I'm so lucky to have someone who cares enough to do that!) and we talked about this. And then I talked to another friend today going through similar problems, and both of those combined put things in perspective.
Everyone has parts of their past that make them uneasy. We all have things that bother us that we'd rather forget even exist. Unfortunately, it's impossible to push those things aside. Instead, we have to face them head on. That's the only way to accept, move on, and grow from the experience. By doing this we become stronger and wiser, and we won't fall victim to the same unfortunate events in our future. That's the mistake I had been making. I was ignoring my past rather than learning from it. I was trying to run and hide and that's never the answer. So from this day forward, I am making a promise to myself that I will work to accept and learn from these unfortunate events and try to grow as a person. This way, I ensure my future will be brighter and better off.
Now I feel like a big bummer, and I hate to be a downer. I believe pain brings progress though, so I don't even mind that I had a crummy week. I've been living day to day just reminding myself of two of my favorite quotes: "In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life; it. goes. on." ~ Robert Frost. "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty" ~ Winston Churchill. With these ideas wedged deep inside my heart, I will pull through. =]
On a happier note, I am back at UMass and ready to finish these last two weeks of classes! I can't believe I am so close to finishing my first semester of college. I admit, my grades could be a little better... but next semester I will bring them up now that I've set up a routine and have acclimated. But man, I can't wait to experience all the happiness the Christmas season brings. It's so beautiful and wonderful and amazing and magical. I don't care how old I get, Christmas will ALWAYS be magic!
Until next we meet.
Respectfully,
me
So for plenty of reasons, the past week wasn't the best for me. Going home from college is a bitter-sweet experience in my opinion. It's nice to see my family and friends that I love. We get to catch up with each other and go to all the hang outs and do everything we did before we all went off to college.
At the same time, there are things back home I was trying to get away from. Bad memories, things I've moved on from... things that make me a little anxious about when I am back home.
I got to do a lot of thinking while I was home, especially on this topic. I spent a very long time last night on the phone with an amazing friend (even more amazing for answering my phone call at 1:30 am and listening to me cry until 3 am. I'm so lucky to have someone who cares enough to do that!) and we talked about this. And then I talked to another friend today going through similar problems, and both of those combined put things in perspective.
Everyone has parts of their past that make them uneasy. We all have things that bother us that we'd rather forget even exist. Unfortunately, it's impossible to push those things aside. Instead, we have to face them head on. That's the only way to accept, move on, and grow from the experience. By doing this we become stronger and wiser, and we won't fall victim to the same unfortunate events in our future. That's the mistake I had been making. I was ignoring my past rather than learning from it. I was trying to run and hide and that's never the answer. So from this day forward, I am making a promise to myself that I will work to accept and learn from these unfortunate events and try to grow as a person. This way, I ensure my future will be brighter and better off.
Now I feel like a big bummer, and I hate to be a downer. I believe pain brings progress though, so I don't even mind that I had a crummy week. I've been living day to day just reminding myself of two of my favorite quotes: "In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life; it. goes. on." ~ Robert Frost. "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty" ~ Winston Churchill. With these ideas wedged deep inside my heart, I will pull through. =]
On a happier note, I am back at UMass and ready to finish these last two weeks of classes! I can't believe I am so close to finishing my first semester of college. I admit, my grades could be a little better... but next semester I will bring them up now that I've set up a routine and have acclimated. But man, I can't wait to experience all the happiness the Christmas season brings. It's so beautiful and wonderful and amazing and magical. I don't care how old I get, Christmas will ALWAYS be magic!
Until next we meet.
Respectfully,
me
Thursday, November 19, 2009
TWENTY-THREEKEND!!
So, lovely readers, I am back. And this time, it's for real! The amazing Regina Holliday (former FFA National Officer) started a blog and we've decided to go at this together. We'll be accountability buddies to make sure we both stay on track. So except a blog once a week! And floggings shall be administered if I do not deliver.
This week's blog needs to happen now because I plan on spending the rest of my night finishing all of the assignments I have due next week because as soon as I am done with classes tomorrow, TWENTY-THREEKEND BEGINS! "What is Twenty-threekend?" I'm glad you asked, random reader I am imagining inside my head. Monday the 23 of November is my 19th birthday. Now while that alone is very exciting, I share this birthday with two other girls in my group of friends here at UMass! Yep. THREE of us all born hours apart. One of them I have known since the second grade. Born hours apart in adjacent cities, only to meet when I changed schools in the second grade. The other, however, we met here at college and she's from Colorado. I think it's really neat how we all just randomly met and had this thing in common. Now while there is one down-side (the fact that most people get this day all to themselves and get all the attention and we won't get to experience this), we have the upside of being allowed to make a huge deal of the day. Hence our weekend long celebration, culminating in the actual BIRTHDAY on Monday.
I apologize that this blog simply explains why I won't be able to supply a decent blog this week... but next week, I promise no matter how busy or tired, you lovely readers will recieve something much more interesting and thought provoking.
Respectfully,
me
This week's blog needs to happen now because I plan on spending the rest of my night finishing all of the assignments I have due next week because as soon as I am done with classes tomorrow, TWENTY-THREEKEND BEGINS! "What is Twenty-threekend?" I'm glad you asked, random reader I am imagining inside my head. Monday the 23 of November is my 19th birthday. Now while that alone is very exciting, I share this birthday with two other girls in my group of friends here at UMass! Yep. THREE of us all born hours apart. One of them I have known since the second grade. Born hours apart in adjacent cities, only to meet when I changed schools in the second grade. The other, however, we met here at college and she's from Colorado. I think it's really neat how we all just randomly met and had this thing in common. Now while there is one down-side (the fact that most people get this day all to themselves and get all the attention and we won't get to experience this), we have the upside of being allowed to make a huge deal of the day. Hence our weekend long celebration, culminating in the actual BIRTHDAY on Monday.
I apologize that this blog simply explains why I won't be able to supply a decent blog this week... but next week, I promise no matter how busy or tired, you lovely readers will recieve something much more interesting and thought provoking.
Respectfully,
me
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Blog Readers
So this will be extremely disappointing because I don't have anything to write about, but I am noticing a lot of profile views. But alas, no comments. If you are here, and you're reading, let me know! Even if it's not really anything particularly interesting. I know I don't talk about a lot of cool things, but just say "Hey!" It'd be nice to know you're out there. I'm friendly, I promise. =]
Respectfully,
me
Respectfully,
me
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I'm Not So Good At Frequently Updating
A) My life is really boring, therefore I have nothing interesting to write about on this,
or
B) I'm just too lazy to do it.
Either way...
Yesterday was... interesting... Me, Casey, Becca, Jake, Ryan, and Owen went to Canobie Lake Park as a last hurrah since Bec, Casey, and Jake leave this weekend for school. I'll see Jake when I move out there next weekend because we're at the same college... Bec and Casey however... well... I'm going to miss those lovely ladies. Ryan I will probably see again next week because he's staying home for school. Owen... well our little high school buddy will be around I'm sure.
Leaving the park is when all the fun began. We arrived at Casey's house, the first victim of the drop off... well here and Becca cried and I of course made fun of them for it. Not without hugging them, and singing to Casey though. "Oh, chiiiiild. Things are gunna get ea-si-errr" Back in the truck, and on to my house where Becca clung to me for a while before saying goodbye.
Then, for no reason whatsoever I had a breakdown. All of a sudden the reality of college set it and I just had to go for a drive. I didn't know what else to do. So I drove. I also took that chance to call my former FFA advisor and tell her I was freaking out. Well, actually, I texted her saying, "I need my FFA mom," but she quickly called me to find out what was wrong. The woman is a saint, I swear. Half an hour of talking and she said all the things I needed to hear. In short, she told me she loves me, informed me that I need to put my pride aside this year and know when to ask for help, encouraged me by saying she knows I will be able to handle everything on my plate, and finished by saying she expects to be seeing my name pop up on her caller ID because she is always there when I need help. Honestly, what else could I ask for?
I am nervous about school. Not as much as some of my friends, I think, but heck you've got to be at least a little apprehensive about it. It's a pretty big change. I'm moving two hours away from the place I've lived my entire life. I'm not going there with many friends. I'm moving in with a girl I have met once. And the classes... well... those are obviously making me have mini panic attacks. But I have to say, I'm more excited about it than I am nervous and deep down I know I am capable of doing this and doing it well.
I'd talk about my day today, but honestly it consisted of working then coming home and sleeping. Woke up a little while ago to have dinner with my brothers, and honestly I'll probably call it an early night because I have to wake up early, run errands, and probably begin the packing process tomorrow.
Respectfully,
me
or
B) I'm just too lazy to do it.
Either way...
Yesterday was... interesting... Me, Casey, Becca, Jake, Ryan, and Owen went to Canobie Lake Park as a last hurrah since Bec, Casey, and Jake leave this weekend for school. I'll see Jake when I move out there next weekend because we're at the same college... Bec and Casey however... well... I'm going to miss those lovely ladies. Ryan I will probably see again next week because he's staying home for school. Owen... well our little high school buddy will be around I'm sure.
Leaving the park is when all the fun began. We arrived at Casey's house, the first victim of the drop off... well here and Becca cried and I of course made fun of them for it. Not without hugging them, and singing to Casey though. "Oh, chiiiiild. Things are gunna get ea-si-errr" Back in the truck, and on to my house where Becca clung to me for a while before saying goodbye.
Then, for no reason whatsoever I had a breakdown. All of a sudden the reality of college set it and I just had to go for a drive. I didn't know what else to do. So I drove. I also took that chance to call my former FFA advisor and tell her I was freaking out. Well, actually, I texted her saying, "I need my FFA mom," but she quickly called me to find out what was wrong. The woman is a saint, I swear. Half an hour of talking and she said all the things I needed to hear. In short, she told me she loves me, informed me that I need to put my pride aside this year and know when to ask for help, encouraged me by saying she knows I will be able to handle everything on my plate, and finished by saying she expects to be seeing my name pop up on her caller ID because she is always there when I need help. Honestly, what else could I ask for?
I am nervous about school. Not as much as some of my friends, I think, but heck you've got to be at least a little apprehensive about it. It's a pretty big change. I'm moving two hours away from the place I've lived my entire life. I'm not going there with many friends. I'm moving in with a girl I have met once. And the classes... well... those are obviously making me have mini panic attacks. But I have to say, I'm more excited about it than I am nervous and deep down I know I am capable of doing this and doing it well.
I'd talk about my day today, but honestly it consisted of working then coming home and sleeping. Woke up a little while ago to have dinner with my brothers, and honestly I'll probably call it an early night because I have to wake up early, run errands, and probably begin the packing process tomorrow.
Respectfully,
me
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
2:00 am
I'll never understand my sleeping habits. I could easily sleep all day, and once the sun sets I am wide awake. I blame it somehow on my mother because she used to work night shifts and I feel like that rubbed off on me in some way. Don't ask... I'm just trying to justify blogging at such a ridiculous hour.
I am supposed to be waking up in about 7 hours to get ready to go to the beach with Becca and Casey. Leave it to graduating high school to start forming a circle of friends to hang out with. My own fault I suppose. I chose bad friends my first two years, got a serious boyfriend the third year and hung out with his circle of friends, and when we broke up in my final year I was forced to re-evaluate who I had in my life. Not a bad thing though in my opinion. This summer has been very good to me with friendships. I have gotten pretty close to a few friends, one of whom I feel very comfortable sharing ridiculous problems with and the others I love spending my nights with. And heck, 12 days from now I'll be living on a campus with approximately 35,000 students... I'm bound to form at least a few relationships out there.
I'm in a strange mood tonight. Not necessarily sad, but not at all happy either. I feel like laying under the stars with... well... anyone to be honest. Anyone who would have a conversation with me about something deep and profound. Perhaps something spiritual. I'm in the mood to discuss God and Heaven and the human soul, and how it all comes in to play when you're laying in the cool grass looking up at the universe surrounding you. To feel that small is so scary, but so beautiful at the same time, and I just want to talk about that with anyone who will listen. The comforting noise of crickets chirping is helping fuel this need also.
I wonder if I will still feel these things a week from Sunday when I'm living on a college campus. I wonder if my roommate will understand if I explain this feeling. I wonder if she's the type of girl who will go for a walk with me on a nice night like this and just talk and become best friends. I wonder if she'll stay up late with me when I'm having one of those nights when I just can't fall asleep because the world just has too much for me to think about. I don't mind this feeling at all though, just to make myself perfectly clear. I say I'm not happy, but it's not a bad feeling. I think it's a perfectly normal, perfectly healthy, perfectly perfect thing to feel at 2:00 am. It makes me feel alive in a weird way.
Maybe I should stop blogging now and actually try to fall asleep. The world's issues will be here tomorrow night, as will this blog. Til next we meet, I suppose.
Respectfully,
me
I am supposed to be waking up in about 7 hours to get ready to go to the beach with Becca and Casey. Leave it to graduating high school to start forming a circle of friends to hang out with. My own fault I suppose. I chose bad friends my first two years, got a serious boyfriend the third year and hung out with his circle of friends, and when we broke up in my final year I was forced to re-evaluate who I had in my life. Not a bad thing though in my opinion. This summer has been very good to me with friendships. I have gotten pretty close to a few friends, one of whom I feel very comfortable sharing ridiculous problems with and the others I love spending my nights with. And heck, 12 days from now I'll be living on a campus with approximately 35,000 students... I'm bound to form at least a few relationships out there.
I'm in a strange mood tonight. Not necessarily sad, but not at all happy either. I feel like laying under the stars with... well... anyone to be honest. Anyone who would have a conversation with me about something deep and profound. Perhaps something spiritual. I'm in the mood to discuss God and Heaven and the human soul, and how it all comes in to play when you're laying in the cool grass looking up at the universe surrounding you. To feel that small is so scary, but so beautiful at the same time, and I just want to talk about that with anyone who will listen. The comforting noise of crickets chirping is helping fuel this need also.
I wonder if I will still feel these things a week from Sunday when I'm living on a college campus. I wonder if my roommate will understand if I explain this feeling. I wonder if she's the type of girl who will go for a walk with me on a nice night like this and just talk and become best friends. I wonder if she'll stay up late with me when I'm having one of those nights when I just can't fall asleep because the world just has too much for me to think about. I don't mind this feeling at all though, just to make myself perfectly clear. I say I'm not happy, but it's not a bad feeling. I think it's a perfectly normal, perfectly healthy, perfectly perfect thing to feel at 2:00 am. It makes me feel alive in a weird way.
Maybe I should stop blogging now and actually try to fall asleep. The world's issues will be here tomorrow night, as will this blog. Til next we meet, I suppose.
Respectfully,
me
Sunday, August 23, 2009
College?
Well I leave exactly two weeks from today, and I have to remember to thank my future roommate for waking me up this morning via a text message reminding me of this. That's alright though. I appreciate her enthusiasm. We'll certainly get along well come September 6th. That is, of course, once we figure out this business of her needing complete darkness to fall asleep... and me being absolutely petrified of the dark. I'm not too worried about that just yet though.
I am leaving for my cousins 38th birthday party in about 20 minutes. She's having it at Build a Bear. Ha, boy do I love my crazy family. But my mom pointed out that this will be the last time I see a majority of these relatives for a while since I do leave in two weeks and probably won't see any of them until sometime around Thanksgiving I'm sure. She also informed me that she's making me a bear to bring with me to school. While I protested that I certainly did NOT want a stuffed animal going to college with me (because I've never been a fan of them in general, not just because I'm a college kid now), she won't take no for an answer. She ALSO called me an adult for the first time ever today. All too much growing up in just one day if you ask me. I'm feeling pretty weird and just wanted to get this all out so I made a blog on here since I know a lot of people use it, and perhaps I'll continue doing this frequently. It'd be nice, I think.
Respectfully,
me
I am leaving for my cousins 38th birthday party in about 20 minutes. She's having it at Build a Bear. Ha, boy do I love my crazy family. But my mom pointed out that this will be the last time I see a majority of these relatives for a while since I do leave in two weeks and probably won't see any of them until sometime around Thanksgiving I'm sure. She also informed me that she's making me a bear to bring with me to school. While I protested that I certainly did NOT want a stuffed animal going to college with me (because I've never been a fan of them in general, not just because I'm a college kid now), she won't take no for an answer. She ALSO called me an adult for the first time ever today. All too much growing up in just one day if you ask me. I'm feeling pretty weird and just wanted to get this all out so I made a blog on here since I know a lot of people use it, and perhaps I'll continue doing this frequently. It'd be nice, I think.
Respectfully,
me
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